Today is the first day of the rest of your life" thought Prince Charming as soon as he woke up that morning. And he was right, indeed. As he had fallen asleep with his i-pod on, it is not unlikely that the constant repetition of the "inaction is a weapon of mass destruction" lyrics had somehow affected his dreaming mind. He misunderstood its message, as usual. However, the fact that matters is that he opened his eyes ready to take on the world.

But some things are very easy to decide and very difficult to achieve. Obviously this was one of them. First of all, he had to determine what his good turn was going to be; which is never a painless task. So he went downstairs and devoted his mind to find an appropriate enterprise while the housekeeper, Rosario, prepared his breakfast. The problem was still surprisingly unsolved once the bacon and eggs were gone. 

So Prince Charming decided to mull it over on a hammock while getting a good tan by the swimming pool. Dragons... they were too dangerous. It was also difficult to sneak into the Zoo in order to kill one. Ogres seemed a nice choice, but they usually live in Utah; a territory which Prince Charming did not particularly fancy. Chasing witches was pretty old-fashioned; and facing a wolf in the woods had The Red-Neck Trademark on it.

Damn it! When Dad was his age, he had already climbed up Mum's hair and rescued her from The Evil Lonely Very Evil And Very Lonely Tower. Prince Charming could not wait much longer: he deserved at least as much fame as his father had had when he was young and handsome. But time was running out and Prince Charming would not be young and handsome forever; in fact, his formerly skinny shoulders had already broadened: he was a man now.

What could he do? How to choose the marvelous act that would place him in History forever? His whole future depended on this decision. He was being torn by the insufferable angst of making a choice; but he was a man, he could bear the pain. Although he was used to the toughness of life, his limits had never been tested that cruel before... Suddenly, he came up with an idea. Oh, no; he didn't, he thought he did but he was mistaken. Good Lord, wait! He wasn't mistaken! He had an idea!

The idea was perfect. It was so perfect that Prince Charming could not figure out why he had not thought of it before. He was a Prince, right? Then, what was what he needed? A princess!

Of course! No prince can really be if there is not a lovely princess by his side, with whom he will live happily ever after. And Prince Charming knew that the quest for a princess implies facing unthinkable dangers no one else would dare to confront. He could not wait to live the glorious moment in which he, once having defeated some fearsome enemy, would proudly yell: "I am thy master! And thou, O miserable beast, shall obey me whether that is thy fancy or not!" while his princess would be observing him with sweet loving eyes.

So now that the hardest part of the task was over, Prince Charming had to confront an unforeseen challenge: there are many princesses in the world, but there is only one meant for each prince. He faced this new obstacle with his usual sangfroid and tried to decide where to start looking for her.

Of course he knew a lot of princesses, being a prince himself; but they were not exactly what one would expect of them. All they did was to spend their weekends in clubs kissing frogs in desperate attempts to find disguised princes. The princesses said that real princes were not good enough for them; they called them immature and childish. So they indiscriminately kissed frogs and more frogs, a new frog each day; sometimes two or more in the same night, avid to find the one who would turn out to be The Perfect Prince. The well-known fact that no princess had ever succeeded did not seem to discourage any of them.

But these were not the kind of princesses Prince Charming was interested in. His future wife had to be completely different to these ladies of the evening. She had to be immaculate and pure; no other lips should have touched hers, let alone frogs'. So he decided to embark on a quest that would lead him to the beautiful girl who was patiently waiting for him to rescue her.

Thus he rode his brand new second-hand car and galloped and galloped until his mount ran out of gas. As he had forgotten to take his credit card, Prince Charming decided that that remote place in Route 66 was the best place to start the quest for his princess. So he dismounted his steel nag and wandered around searching for any sign of the undoubtedly evil creature that kept his future wife imprisoned.

Hours and hours went by. Prince Charming's resolute will was the only force that made him keep on with his almost impossible quest. However, along came the hopeless moment in which his firmness reached its limits and he thought he would have to give up. In that darkest hour of tremendous suffering he raised his eyes and, O miracle! he found what he had been longing to for so long.

Right in front of him the biggest and richest castle ever built was standing, impressive as a giant; waiting for him to come in and rescue the beautiful princess that inhabited it. Prince Charming gathered all his strength and ran towards it, just to discover that the manor was surrounded with the thickest rose bush any human being could ever imagine. Beautiful red roses coexisted with deadly thorns that watched over the place. As the house had undoubtedly been haunted by some evil witch or any other disgusting thing, the only way in was to go through the dense foliage. 

Prince Charming was aware of the extreme danger that this test entailed: he could be trapped by the enormous thorns and starve to death into the malevolent trap that bush was. However, he was a man; so he decided to go deep into the denseness and face whatever fate was destined for him. No man alive will ever suffer similar pains to those experienced by Prince Charming while his beautifully tanned skin was being raped by the evil thorns; or the mental anguish caused by the certainty of his own death. But after the most horrible five minutes of struggle, he finally came out victorious from the Deadly Battle Against The Monstrous Rose Bush.

Prince Charming hurried up to go into  the building where his princess awaited. After scanning the low floor where all the dogs were peacefully sleeping, for it was midnight; he went upstairs and entered his princess's chamber. And there she was, dreaming in such a deep lethargy that nothing but a True Love Kiss could ever awaken her.

Still admiring her sleeping beauty, he slowly approached to her. Everything in this princess was angelic, even more than in any other princess he had met before... Prince Charming slowly raised his hand and touched her delicate platinum blonde hair; he gently bent over her and softly placed his lips on hers, ready to fulfil their destiny. Then, he gave her The First True Love Kiss.

Nowadays Prince Charming lives not-so-happily in jail, found guilty of unlawful entry and rape attempt. His princess's wild screams when she woke up to find him lying on her were enough to wake the whole house up; not to mention the dogs, whose irate reaction when they realized that someone had broken into without their noticing left some indelible scars on Prince Charming's handsome body. When the cops arrived there was not much work to be done, just to take the poor jumble of flesh and blood that Prince Charming had become right into the nearest hospital. The bill was exorbitant.